Your Weekly Dose of Dumbassness [Double Whammy Edition +Aurora]

It’s a two-for-one special today; we’re serving up a full plate of classic dumbassness with some Aurora on the side. Make sure those jeans are unbuttoned, baby, you’re gonna need the extra room.

  • Donald Trump took a recent trip over to Fox news to say that he thought the way President Obama was running the country was “stupid”. Funny, that’s exactly what I thought when you and the other apeshit Birthers were chasing your Kenyan Muslim Socialist conspiracy theories. Don’t you have anything better to do? (work on your comb over technique? Do another season of the Washed Up Celebrities Pretending to Be Business People show? )
  • You knew it was coming: Romney’s “black” ad. It pivots between his speech at the NAACP annual convention (sans boos, of course), and random black people speaking directly into the camera about how much we need Mitt Romney as a President. Considering how his African-American vote hovers somewhere around 5%, I think the most pertinent issue here is finding out how much he paid black people to do a Mitt Romeny ad. I think the second most pertinent issue is fixing an economy that’s so bad, black people are actually willing to do a Mitt Romney ad.
  • Antoine Dodson wants you to know that even though he’s gay, he fully intends to keep giving his money to Chick-Fil-A because they have “bangin’ waffle fries.” But don’t get your knickers in a wedgie. This is a dude who makes his living by being an idiot, he’s  just putting in some overtime.


  • Dane Cook has gone from making bad jokes in general to making bad jokes about Aurora. He must go to the same secret Douchebag Comedian Convention as Tosh, and brainstorm on ways to make unfunny, offensive statements look like controversial comedy. “Look at me, I’m Dane Cook! I’m so clever I can find humor in a recent tragedy!” Actually, you can’t. You steal jokes from Louis C.K and your shirts are too small. Fail.
  • Evangelist Jerry Newcombe thinks the Aurora shootings happened because America has lost its fear of God and now “we’re reaping what we’ve been sowing as a society.” So the semi-automatic rifle and  the 6,000 rounds of ammunition totally had nothing to do with it! It was the Zealous, Wrathful Guy Upstairs trying to teach us a lesson all along! Thanks for clearing that up, Newcombe.

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