1.) RACIST, SEXIST CAKE TASTES LIKE SWEDEN.
So whenever someone’s all, “lets bring focus to female circumcision by making a caricature cake of an African woman whose head is attached to somebody under the table in Black Face yelling in pretend-pain while Swedish Minister Lene Adelsohn Liljeroth oh-so-ceremoniously cuts into the clitoris–the standard answer is “no thank thank you, i’m not hungry”.
2.) TENNESSEE’S ABSTINENCE EDUCATION THINKS HAND-HOLDING LEADS TO FUCKING.
Tennesse Senators approved an update to their already failing abstinence-only education law that warns against “sexual gateway activities” that include kissing and yes, hand-holding. Really, Tennesse? When has the phrase, “Hand-hold me harder baby, yeah, just like that, mmm, gimme those big palms…”EVER been uttered in the history of human existence? Besides, a 2009 Youth Risk Behavior Study shows that 61% of Memphis high school kids have already had sex (higher than the national average) which means the kids are figuring out the Birds and the Bees with or without sex-ed. So don’t ban hand-holding, Tennesse, teach them how to put a condoms on those hands. You know, so no ones’ arm gets preggers.
3.) MISSISSIPPI’S ONLY ABORTION CLINIC IN THE STATE NOW IN DANGER OF A SHUT DOWN?
Let’s just go over that again: Mississippi has one abortion clinic. In the ENTIRE STATE. One. Uno. Singular.
And now the signing of the Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers law (appropriately called TRAP) will make it so that the State can come up with any and every ridiculous regulation, in which the clinic must follow or risk being shut down. It’s brilliant, really: when you can’t directly outlaw abortion, just close down every clinic in the state under some bullshit regulations policy, and make it impossible women to get one. Props, anti-choice lunatics, mad props.
4.) DICK CHENEY BEING, WHAT ELSE? A DICK.
During a talk in Cheyenne, Wyoming, Dick Cheney managed to call President Obama an “unmitigated disaster to the country,”. He never said why, really, but I suspect he was having Bush II flashbacks. Poor guy.
Still though, when you’ve had five heart attacks and a tendency to shoot people instead of deers during hunting season–do you really have the karma to be talkin’ smack about folks? Just saying.